24 October 2009

So long. Farewell.

I think it must be pretty difficult to make a successful life in the Foreign Service without at least a mild case of wanderlust. Which, thankfully, I have and it tempers my sadness at leaving with excitement for the adventure ahead.

Usually.

I'm in a weird space right now. One I haven't been in before. I am faced with the reality of leaving my house, my community, my friends... my home... without having an adventure to look forward to. We've researched jobs, sure. We've made our best case for our top picks and have some ideas on where we might be headed. But we don't find out for another week or so, maybe longer. I don't know where I am headed, only that I am leaving people I have come to love. The reality I live is suddenly sharp and devastating. All bitter, no sweet.

Uncharacteristically, I feel grateful to have just the bitter taste in my mouth. I worry sometimes that I say goodbye too easily. I worry that the comparatively small desire I have for roots will never grow bigger than the one I have for wings. But I see now that to all things there is a season. It is my time to fly but I don't go unfettered.

4 comments:

contigo said...

Wow! I understand where you are coming from. Hopefully, we will both know soon where we will be going next.

Our family said...

Hey Carli. I can understand what you are saying about having to say good-bye. It's hard...especially when you don't know where you are going next! But, at your next "home" you'll find more people to love and that will love you. We miss you! Can't wait to hear where you are going next!

Sunshine Promises said...

So beautifully put, Carli. I have felt those same feelings before. More interest in the adventurous "unknown" than digging in where I'm currently planted.

But you will do well and be loved wherever you go. It is simply who you are.

I can't wait to hear what adventures lie ahead.

Love you!

Stamp With Linz said...

So I guess I'm the opposite, my roots grow like wild fire on a hot Texas day...maybe I need to figure out if my wings even work someday...someday. :) Best wishes for the future, all I know is that whoever receives your family will be blessed by your presence.